The Carry Sh*t Olympics 2023 takes the “olympics” part seriously. Participants can choose to enter any or all of several ongoing cargo bike challenges taking place sequentially (by pedal-power) all across the city, all of which together in harmony comprise The Carry Sh*t Olympics. Champions who excel a single event may find themselves handsomely rewarded, but the brave cargo-hero who best endures the all-day marathon of cargotastic challenges will receive the most prized reward of them all. This year’s event will occur in three stages:

STAGE 1: Mini-Games Meetup, 10:00am @ Colonel Summers Park - The day begins with some low-stakes mini-games to get everyone’s cargo juices flowing. Free to play, we’ll begin with a classic bike-handling game of Foot-Down, perhaps some head-to-head Log-Pull, and everyone’s new favorite: Cargo-Polo. Polo-players will group themselves into teams of four, with two bikes per team, and two humans per bike. First team to score 3 points wins, and the best team a secret advantage in later events!

STAGE 2: Grocery-Getter Alley Cat Race, 2:00pm @ Colonel Summers Park - After a break for lunch, racers will reconvene for this unique and challenging load-hauling benefit race. Racers will be given a list of grocery store checkpoints and a specific list of items which must be gathered from those stores. Checkpoints can be visited in any order the racer seems fit. There is no entry fee for this race, but participants will be expected to make purchases at checkpoints. Proof of your visit to each checkpoint must be provided in the form of receipts, photos, ride tracking app, etc. If you visit every checkpoint, expect to ride around 15 miles.

STAGE 3: Cargo Circuit Race, 7:00pm @ Lloyd Center Mystery Spot - A spectator-friendly short track cargo bike race at a “totally legit” venue. Meet at NE 10th & Halsey and the group will ride to the mystery spot. Racers will complete one lap without cargo, then stop in a “cargo pit” area and pick up one item for each lap they complete. Post-race hangs at the Zipper on Sandy.